Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
