dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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