I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
