I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
