PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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