How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
