this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
