You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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