glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
