I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she peed on how many people?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
