We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
