dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
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