Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
