Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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