im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
