Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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