We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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