Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
