Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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