I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The power of my boobs compel you
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
