I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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