I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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