Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I will pee on everything he values.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
