he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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