I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
