When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
