Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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