official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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