and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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