Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
