Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
