Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
