I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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