u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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