I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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