dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
