I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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