I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
