Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
