im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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