Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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