guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
