Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
