so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
