so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
...so i touched it.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
