i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
