mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
