He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
