Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
