you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
